spring break 2009: d-bag safari.

so our resort was filled with d-bags. daddy j called it a d-bag convention. i asked him what that meant. he told me it was kind of like a big group of cockroaches in billabong shorts with boyband hair. ah, mi comprendo!

for seven days and seven nights, we hunted the d-bag like wild game, documenting its every move...

douche en repose.

the d-bag is an energetic and social creature. it never sleeps. it also never travels alone. daddy j says that this is a co-mutual grooming technique for their fragile egos.

segway 1, d-bag 0.

although we did not have an opportunity to dissect one, it would seem that the d-bag has a brain the size of a pea; it is not very smart. this one lost a battle of the wills with a segway. when it fell off, the man who owned the segway thought it best to banish the d-bag from riding it any further.

"frostylocks" was particularly elusive.

the mating call of the d-bag is "aieaieaieaieaiiiieeeee!!!" it appears that the d-bag was in heat as we heard it make this noise at all times of the day, even at breakfast.

comparing genitalia.

daddy j thought that all d-bags looked the same. but auntie haiku began to notice subtle differences between members of the species. some had hair on the top of its head, some on the bottom. we nicknamed the one on the left "chinstrap."

chinstrap: "seriously, dude, mine is THIS big!"

xoxo. baby.